ZenTactics Personal Development Newsletter: August 2011

In This Issue:

1. Editor's Welcome
2. Announcements: Free stuff (Excerpt from All You Need Is One: Exclusively for Subscribers)
3. Feature Article

Editor's Welcome

Welcome to the latest edition of the ZenTactics Newsletter, your source for relevant tips and information for healing and growing from child abuse.

If you enjoy this e-zine, or know someone who would be interested in it, please feel free to pass it along. If this was sent to you and you'd like to keep getting the latest information, please opt in by clicking here and subscribing with your email address.

Thank you for inviting us to your inbox and hopefully we can help you make all the positive changes you would like to make.

Adam Appleson

 

Announcements

Free Stuff

1) In case you haven't seen our revamped home page lately, there is now a link to a report containing basic child abuse information - what it is, its effects, and how to recognize and report it. It's free for anyone to download or distribute, because I feel like it's so important to get the word out on child abuse and prevent it. It is over here on the home page.

2) A freebie just for you: You should have received a link to a free bonus I'm offering just for the readers of the ZenTactics Newsletter. It's an excerpt from my new e-book, All You Need Is One: How to Make Friends After Being Abused. If you didn't receive it, please feel free to contact me.

 

Feature Article

Winnipeg, Manitoba was the Slurpee capital of the world in July 2010. Each 7-Eleven in Winnepeg sells about 8,300 slushies a month. That's a lot of slushies. For the folks in Canada, there's nothing as refreshing as a cold slurpee on a hot summer day.

Ah, if only meeting new people was this refreshing.

Do you ever feel anxious when you think about meeting new people? Whether it's a party you're attending or a new co-worker you're meeting for the first time, it's normaly to feel a little bit anxious. Of course if you've been abused, then you may be feeling it more acutely. You may be thinking "what if they don't like me?" or other kinds of self-defeating thoughts. In that case...

You're suffering from the dread factor of meeting new people

What causes you to feel this way? Part of it may be a self-esteem issue and the fact that you haven't worked through all of your "issues", so it just feels harder to meet new people. But even if you haven't "healed" from your past, you can still take steps to minimize the dread.

Step #1: Remember, most people only think about themselves most of the time

I think I heard it from a self-help author (I don't recall which one). And in my experience, it's true. As an abuse survivor, you're probably used to walking on eggshells around others. This makes you hypersensitive, but remember, most people have their own problems and concerns. That new co-worker you're meeting for the first time is probably also anxious to make a good impression. So just remember it's not all about you!

Step #2: Even if you make a mistake socially, just keep going as if everything is fine

For instance, if you make an obviously awkward joke, for the most part, the best thing to do is to keep conversing and act as if everything is fine. There's no need to point how awkward the moment is, since chances are everyone realizes it. And let's face it, everyone in your social circle has had awkward moments of their own, so they'll understand. Of course, if you spill a drink on someone's dress or something noticeable like that, you'd want to stop and apologize, not just keep going. Let common sense dictate what your response should be, but usually keeping on in the conversation is a fine way to handle things.

For example, I once made a bad joke at a party (it was a pun of some kind), and I could tell the people I was talking with didn't really think it was all that funny. But I just played it cool and let the conversation keep rolling and pretty soon everyone forgot all about it.

You may say "but I still feel so unsure of myself"

If that's the case, simply keep doing more socializing. It's practice that makes perfect. Yes, that means you have to go on in spite of the "dread factor". But it's the only way to keep improving so you no longer feel it. Then one day you may find you're feeling a lot more relaxed like those slurpee sipping Canadians on a hot summer day.

Next step: Are you struggling at making friends because you don't know what to do? Read how All You Need Is One can help you...

 

Personal Development Bookstore

Check out the e-books and CD's in the bookstore.

1) Trouble Relaxing? You might want to try the Holosync or the Meditation programs. I own both and they help me relax.

2) Struggling with Depression? The e-book I wrote, Unfeeling the Blues, will give you the map you need to start beating depression.

3) Having a hard time making friends? The new e-book I wrote, All You Need Is One: How To Make Friends After Being Abused, is a comprehensive e-book containing the knowledge you need to start making friends.

 

 

See You Next Time

Well that's all for now. I welcome your feedback on this newsletter or anything else, so don't hesitate to share it. Until next time.

 

Have a good rest of the week,

Adam

 

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