What is Child Abuse?

If you're an abuse survivor, you're probably thinking "yeah, I know how to answer 'what is child abuse?'. I've lived it." You want to get to the healing part of it. But it's tough to get to the healing portion if you don't even know what you're trying to heal. It's like trying to hit a target you can't see because your blindfolded.

Why The Taste of An Apple Can Help You Answer "What is child abuse?"

You've probably eaten a ripe, sweet apple before. When I say "think of an apple", you not only can understand intellectually that it's a piece of fruit, but you can immediately start picturing the texture and taste in your mouth as you chew it. If someone asked you to explain to them what an apple was, you're probably confident you can do it well because you can connect the facts you know about an apple (it's color, size, the fact that it's a fruit) to your experience of what it tastes like.

Well that's what you want to be able to do when you ask yourself "what is child abuse?"

Like all human beings, you really "get" something when you understand it not only on a fact-based level, but also on an experiential and emotional level.

The Fact-Based Understanding: The Hidden Connection Between X-rays and Child Abuse

Children have not always been well-treated. In many cultures throughout the ages, children were considered the property of the head of the family and were not recognized as persons with rights. Being abandoned, beaten, and experiencing other harsh physical or sexual violence was more common than we as "civilized" humans would like to think about.

But thanks to the invention of the x-ray machine, doctors began to notice children with sub-dural (under the skin) injuries and fractures that could not be explained by the usual childhood incidents of "falling off a bike." In 1962, Dr. C. Henry Kempe's term "battered child syndrome" caught the United States public's attention. By 1965, every state had enacted laws for the reporting of child abuse.

A Definition of Child Abuse - U.S. Federal Guidelines

The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum: Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.²

In approximately 36 States and American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands, the definition of abuse also includes acts or circumstances that threaten the child with harm or create a substantial risk of harm to the child's health or welfare.¹

Yup, that's right, any "serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation" or "failure to act" in preventing harm constitutes child abuse according to Federal guidelines. Being repeatedly told you are "stupid and worthless" constitutes an act of child abuse, even if you weren't physically harmed.

The Heart Connection: Coming Up With Your Own Answer to "What is Child Abuse?"

One of the things I did that helped with my own healing was to understand how I was abused as a child. Because once I understood how I was abused, it gave me a foundation to begin understanding the effects of child abuse in my life that were a direct result of this. This helped me solve them, and it will help you too.

So now I want you to look deep within yourself. Be prepared to cry. Think about all the things your parents did (or didn't do). It can help if you write it down, that way you can capture issues to bring to your therapist's attention.

Make one column for "Things my parents did" and "How it made me feel." If something they did actually made you happy, write that down. It's good to have some positives to talk about (if you have any). Look at all the things your parents did to you that caused you to feel negatively - either about yourself or in general. If you were physically beaten everyday or verbally put down, and you felt sad or angry, this is your answer to "how was I abused?" Now that you have this list of experiences, you have a concrete understanding of the abuse you experienced.

Now all you have to do is start taking steps to solve your problems. But that's a personal development article for next time.

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Footnotes:

1. From the Child Welfare Information Gateway, http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/define.cfm

2. From the Child Welfare Information Gateway, http://www.childwelfare.gov/can/defining/federal.cfm