Goals and Motivation

Why Dropping "Should" Goals Helps You With Your Goals and Motivation

"That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" echoed Apollo 11 astronaut Neil Armstrong over the radio as the signal was beamed down to planet Earth. That phrase represents the power of goals and motivation. That phrase was possible because President John F. Kennedy had set a goal of putting a man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Without that goal, that incredible moment in history would not have been possible.

A goal is an objective you set for yourself that you would like to reach. It could be healing from child abuse or becoming an Olympic champion. Goals are what enable anyone or anything to improve their conditions.

Goals and motivation are intertwined

Achieving goals requires motivation, especially if they're long term goals. But what kind of goal should you avoid setting in the first place? For that we turn to a study on chocolate and mugs.

The chocolate and mugs study

In one study done by Cornell University, students were given mugs with the school logo on it. Researchers conducting the experiment offered to trade chocolate candy to the students in exchange for the mugs. Even if they really liked chocolate, very few students were willing to trade. You might think there was something really special about those darn mugs.

But when the researchers reversed the conditions, giving chocolate to the students and then trying to trade coffee mugs for it, once again students weren't that interested.

This lack of interest can be explained by the endowment effect

The endowment effect occurs when we take ownership of something so that it feels like it's a part of us and we don't want to part with it. You can see it applies to something as seemingly trivial as a coffee mug. Even more important, we don't have to have physical ownership of something in order for the endowment effect to take hold. It's enough to reasonably expect to have something in the future that make us start thinking we own something. The endowment effect explains why having "ownership" over your goals really helps motivate you to achieve them. It's hard to part with something you own.

It's this sense of ownership that also tells us that "should" goals aren't very motivating

A "should" goal is a goal that someone else set for you but that you really don't want. But to please the other person, you feel like you "should" do it. A good example of a "should" goal is a father wanting his son to play football in high school when the son would rather do something else. Yet the son does it anyway to please his father, because he "should" do it.

"Shoulds" never lead to high performance. If anything, the latest science of motivation shows that it is intrinsic motivation (motivation that comes from within) that leads to high performance. If you don't "own" your goals, there's no intrinsic motivation to achieve them.

Case-study on goals and motivation: The Dead Poet's Society

If you've ever seen the movie Dead Poet's Society starring Robin Williams, you can see a classic example of a "should" goal (if you haven't seen it, please do, as it's a great movie). One of the main characters, Neal, has been told all his life that he has to be a doctor by his parents. But Neal longs to be an actor. That's the goal he "owns." But out of a sense of obligation (a "should"), Neal continues to prepare for a career in medicine. How Neal chooses to resolve this dilemma is a little sad, and I don't want to spoil the plot for you, but the important point is that Neal is incredibly passionate about the goal he "owns" (acting), and incredibly displeased with the "should" goal his father set for him (medicine). How motivated do you think Neal is to study medicine? The bottom line is that "shoulds" don't motivate very well.

But what's the difference between a "should" goal and the self-discipline necessary to carry out a goal?

There may be some tasks you have to do in order to move forward with your goals. You may not like these tasks and so require self-discipline to carry them out. The difference is that you "own" the goals. Your goals and motivation levels are highly intertwined.

But with a "should" goal, you really don't want the goal at all. So all the tasks end up feeling like absolute drudgery because they're leading you to something you don't "own".

How to set goals: own your goals and motivation

When you "own" your goals, it's much easier to stay motivated. So drop your "should" goals. Then you can take one giant leap forward in your life the way Neil Armstrong did on behalf of mankind.

 

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