Fighting Depression

Why Waiting Until You Feel Good Is The Wrong Approach If You're an Abuse Survivor Fighting Depression

Picture of young man with head leaning into one arm who is ashamed and depressed

Imagine you're a famous motivational speaker like Tony Robbins. It's your job to motivate people to take action to change their lives. In the next 2 weeks, you have been asked by the President of the United States to fly down to the Naval Academy graduation and give a commencement speech on the importance of staying motivated in order to be successful.

Except, there's just one problem. You feel depressed. So depressed in fact, you haven't been able to get out of bed for days. You've neglected doing the laundry, taking out the trash, and other household chores. You can't quite figure out what's wrong with you. Maybe you're burnt out. You try going for a drive, buying a new pair of shoes, and just relaxing. Nothing seems to be working, and you fall further into a funk. You think to yourself, "maybe if I just wait until I feel good again..."

 

If you're an abuse survivor who has ever suffered from a debilitating episode of depression, you know it can sap your strength just like it did in the story above.

You want to do things, but you're just too tired and too depressed. Fighting depression seems impossible. You try to tell yourself to get motivated, but let's face it, it just isn't happening. You're not alone. Millions of people worldwide are child abuse survivors who are fighting depression everyday. They have to function day-to-day and waiting until they feel good is just not an option.

 

Beating depression if you're an abuse survivor is essentially a two-pronged approach.

The first prong involves working with a mental health professional to resolve old emotional trauma. Carrying this trauma around with you can tire you out and cause you to engage in self-defeating thinking and behavioral patterns that undermine your battle against depression.

The second prong involves learning to act even if you're in the midst of a depressive episode. When you're feeling depressed, you've probably noticed you don't feel like doing anything. Trying to wait until you're motivated to do something is an ineffective strategy. Psychologists know that when you're depressed, you have to take action in order to have any hope of generating feelings of motivation.

 

Why should you get a therapist or other mental health professional?

Fighting depression can be a complicated animal. Different individuals can experience different types of depression. For some, it may be purely situational depression - the loss of a job, loved one, or other major life event. If you're a child abuse survivor who's just starting out on the road to healing, it's the unresolved trauma that can tire you out and contribute to your situational depression. By working on the trauma, over the long run, you're actually eliminating one of the causes of your depression. In addition, there may be other genetic or biochemical factors at work that a mental health professional can help you with.

Plus, by having the support of a mental health professional in place, you may find it easier to take action. For instance, suppose you're fighting depression and you set a goal to begin attending to household chores. If you have an off day and fail to follow through, you may start labeling yourself as "lazy" or engaging in other negative self-talk. Of course, this will further exacerbate the depression. But if you have the support of a good therapist (or even a good friend), they can help you overcome these patterns of negative thinking and get you back on track. As stated previously, it's taking action that creates motivation, especially when you're depressed.

 

You may have tried taking action before in the midst of a depressive episode and found you just couldn't muster up the energy.

That's ok. Here are some suggestions that may help.

  1. Recognize you're going to have off-days and don't beat yourself up over it. But keep up with the therapy and others in your support network, especially if you've been abused.
  2. Try keeping a daily activity journal. List the things you did that day and monitor your progress from week to week. Were you able to do more of what you wanted these past 2 weeks than the previous 2 weeks? Good. It means you're getting better. By keeping an activity journal, you're not only taking action (this count as an activity you can give yourself a kudos for!), but you'll have something you can show your therapist that will help them work with you. Plus, you can monitor your progress over the long run, so even if you have an off-day, you can see how you're doing overall.
  3. Try listening to up-tempo music (or music that energizes you). Music can often help with your mood because it stimulates the emotional centers of your brain.
  4. Get outside. Studies have shown that exercise can be a very effective tool in fighting depression. So even if it's just for a walk around the block or taking 20 steps out of your house, try it out. Any physical activity is better than none at all.
  5. Try to socialize. Depression can cause you to isolate yourself, which further contributes to feelings of depression. So try to talk to friends as much as possible. And if you don't have any nearby at the moment, then it's definitely crucial to have the support of a therapist in fighting depression.

 

If you're a child abuse survivor, don't wait until you're feeling good to begin fighting depression.

You may not be a famous motivational speaker with a commencement speech to give, but you have a lot of important things left to do with your life. Don't wait until you feel good to get support and take action. The sooner you begin doing this, the sooner you'll start being more successful at beating depression.

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