Courage In Patience

Why This Book Is a Must Read For Abuse Survivors

Note: Some elements of the plot are discussed, so if you don't want to know in advance, please read the book first! The book is available here at Amazon.com.

On the cover of Courage in Patience, the caption reads "A story of hope for those who have endured abuse." I recall thinking to myself as I read this in 2008 that I should read it. I was fortunate enough to obtain a copy, but that week I was busy and feeling a little blue. So I put off reading it for about a week. That was the wrong thing to do. When I finally got around to reading it, I realized the book gave me insight on issues that I was dealing with at that time.

It's a story about the courage and patience it takes to overcome abuse.

At first you might be expecting a syrupy you-can-do-anything kind of tale. But it's not. The writer had much more sense than that and created a work of dramatic, realistic fiction. The story centers around the life of Ashley Asher, a fifteen year old teenage girl.

Ashley lives with her mother Cheryl and stepfather Charlie in Baileyville, Texas. Right away you realize Ashley isn't living in the best of circumstances. She lets us know that her mother Cheryl thinks her biological dad David was a loser, and that Ashley herself thinks Cheryl is the "Queen of Bad Decisions."

Within the first 30 pages of Courage in Patience, we get a sense of the scope of Ashley's problems. While Beth's writing is not over-the-top graphic, she does describe enough detail so you can see the way Ashley is assaulted and abused by Charlie, her stepfather. For instance, on p. 15, Ashley says "...he [Charlie] gestured to me to sit on his lap. I did so, enjoying the idea of having a daddy like my friends did. I got so content and relaxed there, I dozed off. He started rubbing my brand-new breasts. I wasn't actually asleep, but it freaked me out so much that I pretended I was..."

Yes, Ashley's stepfather Charlie is a bad guy and there's no debate about that.

But what makes Courage in Patience such a great read is that the other characters are portrayed with realistic depth. For example, you get the sense that Ashley's mother, Cheryl, cares about her daughter and wants to do right by her. But Cheryl is clearly a dysfunctional individual who isn't ready to raise a daughter and protect her from the world. This is perfectly captured when Ashley tells Cheryl about Charlie molesting her since she was nine years old. But Cheryl has her own problems and doesn't know how to function as an independent adult. She's so desperate that she'll even put up with someone like Charlie and the vile things he's doing to her daughter. When Ashley gets to school the next day, she finds a note in her lunch from Cheryl that reads "Please apologize to Charlie. He would never do those things to you. Please. For me..." (p. 55). Cheryl doesn't throw Charlie out for molesting Ashley. Rather, she decides to believe Charlie when he says that "he was sick then, but he's not anymore." (p. 51).

This illustrated the perfect way in which the author incorporates the dynamics of child abuse into the story without ever having to explicitly tell us about them. Fortunately, though the story takes a more hopeful turn, as Ashley's friend Lisa helps her disclose what's happening to a trusted teacher. Eventually, Ashley is moved to a safe environment by reuniting with her biological David who is now living in the tiny town of Patience, Texas (hence the title). David is a father who feels a ton of remorse over what's happened to Ashley since he left.

From there, Ashley begins crawling back toward a healthy mental state.

She doesn't do it without suffering a few bruises along the way, as both Cheryl and Charlie try to come back and get Ashley to live with them again. But fortunately, they fail in their attempts thanks to the efforts of Ashley (who's still clearly traumatized) and the new family she's found with David and his wife Bev, an English teacher.

At the end of Courage in Patience, we see Ashley is not completely whole, but fully engaged in the process of healing. This isn't a Hollywood ending, but it is a hopeful and realistic one. I think Beth is able to write this so well because she is an abuse survivor herself.

But it would be a disservice to say that this is just a book about abuse.

Author Beth Fehlbaum also masterfully captures the art of growing up and learning to be your own person through some of the sub-plots running throughout the story as well. For instance, we see a high school classmate of Ashley's, Dub, learning to grow away from his stepfather Billy Ray's racist beliefs.

Then there's the sub-plot of a school board's attempt to try and keep Bev from using a certain book in her English class to teach her students. The book mentions curse words, homosexuality, and sexual abuse that certain religious members of the community find objectionable. Taken out of context, this may even seem fine. But Beth Fehlbaum shows that living in an authentic way doesn't mean shying away from certain truths about the world, and to censor that is to perpetuate ignorance and is actually a disservice to young people in the long run. The way she writes this part of the story is so real and entertaining, hopefully you'll get a chance to read it for yourself.

At first, the one thing I wanted to change was the ending of the book.

But then I realized the ending was actually perfect because it was realistic. I won't spoil it completely for you, but the ending definitely isn't a Hollywood one. Ashley doesn't go riding off into the sunset with her new boyfriend. It's all about what it means to start healing as an abuse survivor.

The bottom line is that it's refreshing to read a book that realistically portrays what an abuse survivor has to go through, and does so in an entertaining way. If you're friends or know someone who is a sexual abuse survivor, this story will help you understand what abuse does and the mechanisms survivors use to cope. Above all, Courage in Patience is a true original and a refreshing addition to anyone's bookshelf.

Related article(s):

Interview with Beth Fehlbaum, author of Courage in Patience

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