Beating Depression

Why Changing Your Social Environment Can Help You In Beating Depression If You're a Child Abuse Survivor

Imagine you've had a stressful week in the middle of July. Your boss has been incredibly demanding, you've been putting in at least 3 hours of overtime everyday just to keep up with the incredible workload.

If your boss told you that working more overtime next week would make you happier and more productive, you'd probably want to whack him over the head. You already know what you need. You need a vacation. You need to change your environment for a little while. Maybe not even a vacation. Maybe just a relaxing weekend at the beach, with just you and the waves. Deep down, you know that's what would make you happier. Being around a stressed out boss in a stressful work environment would not. It would just stress you out more.

We already know instinctively we pick up on the moods around us in our social environment.

Think about it for a second. If the people in your household or others that you interact with are happy, aren't you more likely to be happy yourself? If your dad is always cracking jokes because he's in a good mood, isn't everyone else in the household likely to be in a good mood too? You already know the answer.

Of course, it works the same way if your dad is depressed too. If he's feeling sad, isn't harder for everyone to feel up? But you already know this. The trick then to making sure you don't catch depression (or further depress yourself) is to change your social environment constructively. And when I say social environment, I'm referring to the relationships in your life that you experience on a regular basis. So for example, your boss would be a part of your social environment. The random gas station attendant you saw while filling up your car would not be a part of it.

Ways to Change Your Social Environment That Will Help in Beating Depression

#1: Learn how to express anger appropriately in your relationships.

Explosive anger is common in depressed relationships.

If you've come from an abusive environment, chances are your parents didn't model good communication skills. For example, if you saw your dad yell at your mother to "stop nagging" in response to her asking him to mow the lawn after he got from work, you may be prone to yell in your life.

Instead, an alternative to yelling is to ask questions. Ask why the person would like something done. See if it's realistic and appropriate to be doing it. Then negotiate to find the best solution. For instance, if your parents had good communication skills, your father could have said "I'm a little tired after work, can I do it this weekend?" Your mother then could have said "ok, I didn't realize how tired you were. It's not critical to mow the lawn today."

By learning to express anger appropriately, you change the relationship dynamic. Instead of pent-up anger just coming out in a big explosion, you learn to deal with the problem at hand and not let the anger over an issue build in the first place.

#2: Stay socially connected.

Try not to isolate yourself, even though it can be hard when you're depressed. Try to schedule some fun, social activities with others. It can make a huge difference in your mood and help you in fighting depression.

If you need the help of a psychologist or other counseling professional, don't be afraid to ask. They can be of great value in providing a safe and supportive ear, as well as giving you strategies to cope with your specific problems that you feel are bringing you down.

#3: Set healthy boundaries to avoid becoming a victim.

Maintaining healthy boundaries is the foundation of all good relationships. If you're in a destructive relationship, and you feel victimized, it's time for you and the other person to set some boundaries. And if the other person is abusive and refuses to change, it's time to leave.

Once you've changed your environment, reassess.

Do you feel better? Possibly relieved? Don't be afraid to make changes in your social environment. Remember we pick up on the moods in our environment. Sadness might be contagious, but so is happiness. Make changes in your life so that your social environment brings you up and not down. It's the key to beating depression.

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