Anger Myths

Anger Myths Every Child Abuse Survivor Should Know

If I were to tell you that it takes years for you to digest chewing gum if swallowed would you believe me? You shouldn't, because it's a popular myth that's been going around forever, possibly to scare children from doing it in the first place. Whether or not you believe the myth about the chewing gum, your health is fine either way. But what about anger?

 

Are there certain anger myths that you subscribe to that could be harming your health?

Like the chewing gum myth, anger myths are invented stories or concepts that aren't true. The difference is, by believeing and acting on them, you may be hurting your health. By understanding anger myths you will hopefully be in a healthier place for dealing with your anger and doing something about it that will work.

 

Common Anger Myths (Along With the Real Facts)

Myth #1: Anger is unhealthy and you should strive to be happy all the time.
Anger can actually be a very healthy emotion. It can help energize you to take action when coping with stress, defend your self-esteem, and help you motivate yourself to get out of a bad situation. Even people like Jesus Christ and Martin Luther King, Jr. got angry. Martin Luther King, Jr. used his anger to promote social change and equality for all.

Myth #2: Venting your anger is good for you.
This is not true. Expressing your anger overtly can make you more prone to heart attacks. One study showed that men with the most explosive voices, more irritation when forced to wait, and more outward expressions of overt anger had the highest risk of heart attacks.

Myth #3: Bottling up your anger is ok.
This is not true either. As this article on suppressed anger shows, suppressing your anger can leave you at risk for high blood pressure.

Myth #4: I've always been angry and you can't change your personality.
The way you behave when you're angry is a learned response. By learning appropriate anger management skills, you can learn to change you behave when angry.

Myth #5: Only people with problem childhoods have anger management issues.
While it is true that having a troubled childhood can put you at greater risk for having anger problems, anger is a universal emotion in human beings across all cultures. Everybody, from kindergartners to people raised in good homes gets angry. You're not alone if you experience anger or have anger management issues.

Myth #6: Anger can cloud your thinking.
Not necessarily. Anger can influence you to take "mental shortcuts" in your decision making. But it can also prompt you to think more carefully about your decisions. One study of college students assessed the impact of anger on their decision-making process. The students were exposed to arguments that persuaded them to adopt unpopular views. Beforehand, some students wrote about an experience that had made them angry. The results of the study found that anger tended to make the study participants more rational, and not less.

 

Anger Case Study: Melissa

Melissa is a twenty-seven year old woman who is considered even-tempered and an all-around nice girl by her friends and co-workers. Throughout her childhood, Melissa's mother told her that "nice girls always smile and don't get angry." Melissa has never cursed or hit anyone in a fit of rage. But Melissa often feels stressed about her life and disgruntled with everything that is going on at her current job, which she refuses to discuss because she doesn't want to get angry. You can see that Melissa suffers from suppressed anger and has succumbed to the myth that "bottling up your anger is ok."

 

Perhaps you've tried telling yourself to "let go of the anger" and it isn't working.

Remember, anger management is a learned skill that takes time and patience to learn, especially if you weren't taught the skill as a child. Are you wondering if there is an effective treatment for anger?

There are actually a couple of techniques you can try if you have trouble letting go of your anger:

• Counseling - Studies have shown that counseling can be one of the most effective ways of reducing anger because it involves the sharing and understanding of your emotions with another. It enables you to figure out what's wrong, devise a solution, and move on. A good therapist or counselor can also teach you new anger management skills.
• Meditation - Studies have shown that meditation can make us more compassionate, and help us reduce or deal with unwanted emotions such as anger and depression. University of California San Francisco Medical Center's Dr. Paul Ekman, suggests that meditation and mindfulness can calm the amygdala. The amygdala is the portion of the brain that is the hub for fearful memories. Ekman found that because of their meditative practices, experienced Buddhist monks were less likely to be flustered, shocked, or as angry as other people. In a nutshell, meditation helps you react to the world in a more even-tempered kind of way.

Letting go of some of these anger myths and learning new anger management skills can take time and patience. But you can do it. And unlike the chewing gum myth, unlearning these myths will be helpful to your health.

 

Summary

• There are many myths surrounding anger. Anger can be a healthy emotion.
• Counseling is one of the most effective ways of reducing anger. Its effects can be noticeable in the short-term and the long-term. Meditation is another good way to reduce your anger as shown by the Buddhist monks, but you'll probably notice its effects more over the long-term.

Did that help?

Yes, but I would like to:

Learn Why Not Letting Go of Anger Can Hurt Your Career If You're a Child Abuse Survivor

Learn Why Avoiding a Crescendo Effect is the Key to Managing Anger In a Conflict With Your Mother If You're an Abuse Survivor

Learn What is anger and what are the effects of anger?

Learn Anger Myths Every Child Abuse Survivor Should Know

Assess How Angry I Am With This Anger Quiz

How Helium-Filled Balloons Can Help You With Anger and Depression If You're a Child Abuse Survivor

Learn How Ten-thousand Israelis Show Why Suppressed Anger Is Dangerous To Your Health

Why Understanding Your Childhood Issues Is Critical In Learning How To Control Anger If You're a Child Abuse Survivor

Learn How to Make More Friends After Surviving Abuse (e-book)

Learn Strategies for Dealing With Depression (e-book)

Learn How to Relax With Meditation (Audio Compact Disc)

Return from Anger Myths to Psychology and Mental Health Articles

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